Loud Silence

WAY V LIVE

Loud Silence

‘Is any sound more melodious than silence?’ So harmonious, with its own unique raaga, plunging deep in to soul and spreading calmness across heart and mind; a melody complete in itself – Vinod closed his eyes to see what’s inside him.  

‘Is there anything more dreadful than silence?’ Akhila was just unable to concentrate on road in this quietness. She is looking for reasons, words, to answer all the thoughts stirred up a while ago and this silence is just - so much scary.

‘On a journey with friends on a much needed vacation, why is everyone so silent? This idiot Vinod thinks he is extremely good with logic and words. Why can’t he just shut his mouth sometimes? Not everyone can understand him and why can’t he realize it?’ Suresh started getting impatient, ‘all his self-acclaimed clever words ended up in this silence – this is so worthlessly empty!!”

Suresh moved impatiently in his seat, unable to bear the silence anymore – reached for the remote and switched audio to FM. Random discussions, songs, noises started coming out, each one of them not lasting even for few seconds and started to disrupt the wavelengths of silence. Occasionally few sounds lasted a bit longer than few seconds and Suresh tried listening to them keenly, but heard nothing interesting and the scrolling continued. He finally gave up his quest for some old Hindi songs. “Ye kahan aa gaye hum ..” Kishore ji and Lata ji replaced Eagles extremely melodiously.

“I like this song” Gowri got up quiet swiftly, adjusted herself in the seat, and told “Suresh increase the volume a bit please.” Suresh felt good, as he felt at least someone is in cheerful mood today and increased the volume. ‘Some sounds are just never too loud’ Gowri felt – she loved old Bollywood songs.

The songs almost came to end, Gowri asked, “How far have we come?” Akhila responded in a lost tone, “we just completed half journey I guess, and it’s already 8 am” Gowri picked up the lostness, “That’s ok, don’t strain too much” tried to reassure Akhila, “at least we are enjoying the journey”

Suresh and Akhila looked at each other blankly. Both did not know whether to laugh or cry – they did not have anything to say back.  Suresh felt to slap Vinod badly. Gowri got curious and looked at Vinod who was looking out of window totally lost in his world. “Vinod is everything fine?”  Gowri put her hand on Vinod and pushed slightly. Vinod turned around as though rattled from his silence, “Yeah, why?” Gowri questioned back, “Why is everyone so silent?”

Vinod got back in to the car with some guilt of being selfish. He did not want to say anything to Gowri on his nirvana thoughts and disturb people more, but diverted the topic “Yeah, even I noticed that too, why is everyone silent? Suresh is everything fine?” This time Suresh wanted to kill Vinod, but before he could do that, he noticed car slowing down and looked forward. Everyone in the car looked forward and there were long queues of variety of vehicles in 4 -5 lines.

“What the heck is this now?” Suresh yelled putting the all frustration and the intense idea to slap Vinod in his tone. He continued, “Akhila!! Quick!! Put the car behind this Toyota, the queue is small here.” Akhila reacted swiftly, took a deep cut to the right denying change to another blue car who also wanted the same place, and went behind the Toyota. She felt good being in shorter queue and even good because she fought her way there successfully, and said smoothly, “I guess we have to pay toll.”

Vinod felt irritated, but Suresh voiced it out, “Toll? Why the hell are we paying road tax then?” Vinod noticed a private company’s name on a sign board and said “Guess this company has made this road and now has the contract to maintain these roads for next few years”

Gowri joined, “they take money to make roads, they take money to maintain roads, they take money to upgrade roads; they take money to drive on roads … where does all this money go?” The remaining three gave out a deep sigh as there was only one answer – black money of rich politicians.

The more you talk about the topic the more you get frustrated – the system we live in, the government we vote for, the reforms that are only spoken about; more frustrating – every talks about it, no one does anything about it. And then the million dollar question comes up – if you want to change why can’t you be the change and do something about it? Get on to the streets, fight for it, and then for how long? Even the corrupt people in government know this part; They knows that people cannot fight on roads forever – give any fight a week for maximum – after that it dilutes, as all the people have to get back to their normal lives. And we, the people, get back to our lives trying to adjust and accommodate with what we get. There can be countless discussions on this in cars, cafes, office canteens, parking lots – but everything has to get back to ‘normal’ life. We know what’s happening is wrong; we know our hard earned money is exploited; we have the courage and intent to fight; what is stopping us then? Or rather what is lacking in us to fight?

All four in the car felt the frustration, as they had countless discussions on topic, and all of them ended in dissatisfaction. A brutal suffocating silence reigned over car. Vinod felt surprised how this silence was very different from his earlier one – the earlier one was complete in itself and in this one he felt there is something lacking. Suresh was silent calculating how much money we are being looted off each year and Gowri was silent thinking how better the citizens fight – perhaps with a coordinated effort across the nation with each city every week keeping the intensity of fight going.

For Akhila, it was even more frustrating as their queue was the slowest moving. The blue car came in to the line left of them and Akhila watched it move ahead of them helplessly. To add salt to her irony, the driver of the blue car looked out of his window and gave a wicked wink to Akhila. Her fists automatically tightened around the wheel, told to herself silently, ‘I will see you on the other side of the toll, you son-of-a-b**ch.’

After over 13 -15 slow and dragging minutes, Akhila paid 75 rupees toll and came out on other side. The blue car was nowhere to be seen. She changed the gears and pressed the gas hard, with a small jerk and leap the car shot forward like a bullet. The jerk shattered everyone out of their thoughts and leap pushed them back in their seats. All three looked at Akhila, who looked totally focused as a soldier set for war.

99% Struggle --> 1% Happy (?)

WAY V LIVE

“99% Struggle à 1% Happy (?)”

A soldier is posted at a forward area. He carries his favorite machine gun and marches towards the border enthusiastically. His job is to protect the borders and so he does so with a lot of passion. He follows orders to the word in the best interest of him and his battalion. In his term of posting, he develops strong bonding with fellow soldiers; some become very close to him. In all the good time he thinks about upcoming battles. He prepares and plans. He thinks what to do to win and live another day, and promises himself to save country and fellow battalion at whatever cost. The day of his first fight comes and a lot of blood is spilled – blood from his battalion too. He wins the battle and endures pain. His heart shrinks, thinks, contemplates, but continues to guard the borders. A lot of time passes by and blood, bullets, and blizzards become his day to day activity. He takes them all with known familiarity and wisdom for he knows every battle has collateral damage and ‘we lose some, we gain some’. He realizes that some battles you win, and in some, retreat is wise. A big war arrives and he feels this is what is he was or has been prepared for all his life. Enemy comes up with an undefeatable strategy and surrounds the battalion from all directions and traps them. The war grows intense and enemy advances. Despite certain defeat and chilling fear, the soldier does not give up. He continues fighting as that is the only thing he knows. He loses is friends one by one; every happiness and laughter he once had with them can never be brought back – he continues to fight. He and his closest companion remain; he pledges he still has a reason to stay strong – he continues to fight. He loses ground every day; he stays close to his faiths and beliefs – he continues to fight. His hopes of winning fade every day; his heart starts losing emotions – he continues to fight. Eventually his companion falls on ground; he heart fills with emptiness – He continues to fight. He remains alone with his favorite gun; ‘till the last breath’ he reminds himself – he continues to fight; His favorite gun fires its last bullet and ‘his war’ is over – he realizes death is certain. He knows any time now his heart can be pierced by a bullet. All of a sudden a smile shows up on his face; a smile complete; a smile which has nothing to lose.

“It’s rather strange – any happiness you experience may not be complete within itself – it might just be an elevated mood; but when you don’t feel unhappy anymore – perhaps, that’s when permanent state of happiness sprouts.”

Vinod let out a deep ‘hmm’ and looked around in to reality. It did not change much, except that he is not driving. Eagles were still singing, white Honda city was cruising at 120 kmph, Suresh and Gowri were still dipping their heads often and Akhila was at the wheel, humming along with Eagles and zooming past every single vehicle in sight. It seemed to him for a moment, that he was the only one who was still in the hangover of ‘nivarna’ tea.

The fog was melting giving way sun rays. Everything outside the window seemed to be gradually embracing golden yellow hue, with bright diamonds scattered whenever a fast sun ray pierced through a dew drop. ‘How beautiful?’ Vinod was filled with freshness with that splendid sight. “How are we doing Akhila?” He asked. “Welcome back to Earth, Sir!!” Akhila giggled, “We covered half way.” “Not bad” Vinod appreciated, “you are fast.” Akhila graciously accepted the compliment. She has some good feeling and respect mixed in equal quantities for Vinod. Once reason being, Vinod never had any male ego stop him when complimenting a girl or accepting them better than him. It’s rare she thought.

“All fine Vinod? You seem lost. Are you still thinking about the old couple?” Akhila asked. Vinod smiled and shook his head as ‘yes’; he looked out of the window and did not know what else to say. Even if he wanted to say, he did not know how to. He was really unsure how many would look at life as he does. But now, Vinod decided to give it a shot “well, yes ...” He thought for a moment, but could not go any forward. Akhila, knowing Vinod, tried to understand remaining unsaid words, “mm … are you upset for them?” “No, no, nothing so!!” Vinod said instantaneously. Vinod did not know what he was felt for old couple. It was something like pity, but not pity. The more he thought what he felt about them, he felt like being sucked in to a vaccume. Akhila watched Vinod from rear view mirror, his eyes were saying something, but clearly, he was struggling for words.

“I was sorry to see an old couple in such misery, struggling each day, but honestly, if you would not have started that conversation, I would not have not even bothered” Akhila took the lead in conversation. She wants Vinod to get whatever he had been thinking out of his head. Vinod seemed to get a lead, “Why would you have not noticed them Akhila?” Akhila gave a short smile and nod, happy that her lead was working and more over this question was expected. “Simple Vinod, its 6 am in morning, dead cold, I had 3 tired passengers who badly needed this 3-day break, and for them to get maximum time on their vacation, I would have got down, had tea, and get back on my way – all in 5 minutes. In all this, how can I look in to the old woman’s eyes and try to figure out what she is thinking?” She said very casually.

Vinod went blank for moment, and then a quick tiny smile came up which did not make it out on to his face, ‘not many can align with me’ he thought. He got Akhila’s point, but dint want to talk back anything as it might sound like an argument. No point, we live in different worlds, he concluded. “Sorry, dint mean to put you down” Akhila said apologetically mistaking Vinod’s silence that he is hurt, “I was only trying to say why I could not have noticed, you see, these priorities in our lives .. .. ” “No worries” Vinod said back assuring. After a silent moment he said again, “but I see your point” he added with a wink. “What to do you mean? What’s my point?” Akhila asked curiously. Vinod coolly said “Point being, we are so programmed for timelines, we miss out on life.”

“What do you mean life, Vinod?” Akhila turned assertive from casual, “For me it means being happy, me and close ones being happy. But, we live in a brutal society and system, there is no place for weak – so we have to work. Work really hard. But I enjoy that, as that work gives me enough resources to keep me and my family happy and secure. So, this is life for me – even if I don’t put timelines – the world we live it put them for me; I can stop by to hear somebody’s life – but that will not give me more minutes in my life; I may sound selfish, but am practical” she ended with a heavy breath.

Vinod smiled softly, “Agreed. I totally agree with each and every word you say” after a brief pause he asked, “You mentioned about you and your family being happy, what do you mean by happiness?” Akhila gave it a thought, and let out a list “parties, movies, shopping, spa’s, travel, holiday’s … and the biggest happiness is when I achieve something, for example when I passed out of CA.” Vinod did not respond immediately, as though he wanted to hear more. Akhila also thought for a while, she listed them nonetheless, but felt something was missing on that list. After a couple of minutes, Vinod asked “are you sure they give you happiness or do they just give an elevated mood for that moment? I mean how long does your ‘happy moment’ last? You go to a party, you feel good/happy but how long can you retain that mood? There will be some events which like passing out of CA or other similar which help this elevated mood retain for long time, but it has to end sometime.”

“You are being extremely critical Vinod, we need these small happiness’s in life to go on, as otherwise it’s just work” Akhila said, still feeling that something was missing in her list. “I agree with you to totally again. My point is just that we struggle hard for 99% of our lives to get these temporary moments of happiness in life. We justify this 99% struggle with a satisfaction that we are working to be happy. But unfortunately these happy moments are not one time affair and not permanent. As I said, you party, you feel good and it lasts for a week and after that you have to party again. Similarly shopping,” Vinod stopped the flow as though thinking over what he said and concluded, “So technically we are burning ourselves - day in and day out – for these temporary moments of elevated moods. This is what I had been thinking.”

Akhila did not seem convinced with what Vinod said, but could not immediately reply anything too. She visibly seemed struggling to get an answer as she strongly felt that there has been definitely more to her life than just these temporary elevated moods.

The traffic increased on the highway, and so did the thoughts in Akhila’s mind, but the White Honda city continued to cruise silently and swiftly towards its destination.

"Nirvana Chai"

A white Honda city was swiftly cruising across the highway, almost silently, like a shooting star zooming across deep new moon night.  Dark silhouettes of random objects wrapped in thick winter fog were racing past the side windows.  Both the headlights were struggling to cut the dense fog and show the way ahead. The Eagles were singing ‘Long road out of Eden’ in a low voice helping Vinod enjoy the early morning drive. The atmosphere inside the car was warm and Gowri, Suresh, and Akhila started dozing as soon as they got in to the car.

The roads were empty by courtesy of a deadly winter morning, and despite fog Vinod was managing good speed. Vinod enjoys driving, alone more likely; however the current situation was not bad either, with other three dozing. He started humming along with Eagles and smoothly changed gears to overtake a Volvo. ‘Life can’t be anymore smooth he thought’ and felt very glad that the 3-day vacation kicked off at 130 kmph. ‘How more to come?’ he felt excited, but could not quantify that ‘how much’ any further.

Vacations are pretty rare for him and Gowri. Both of them work at big corporates at middle management level and very frequently burn their mind, body and soul during their weekdays. It’s all about power points, performance measures, pressing timelines, peer politics, and pointless infinite discussions. This 3-day break had been more than welcoming for them – Vinod felt that all his favorable stars, for once, have aligned in his favor.

More than for him, he felt good for Gowri – she is too much work oriented and is a perfectionist. At least he would get small leisure breaks with Suresh, but Gowri on the other hand is just work. Vinod looked at Gowri. She was in deep sleep unmindful of the posture-restricting seat and occasional bright lights from the headlights of heavy cargo carrying traffic. There was a faint smile which always amused Vinod ‘how can she sleep so peacefully? Nothing in this world can wipe that off her face’ he concluded after noticing that day after day after day from past 5 years. He did not realize Akhila watching him closely from behind.

“Need company Vinod?” It was Akhila from rear seat right behind him. The question came up suddenly for Vinod amidst all Eagles, fog, headlights, and he could not reply back immediately. “Vinod? Sleepy?” Akhila asked with a little concern this time and added “I can drive if you want.” She knows that like Suresh and Gowri, even Vinod had late working night yesterday. “No Akhila, am fine” Vinod said, paused for a moment, and said again with a smile “I thought you slept but.”

“I dozed for few moments, but now am fine. I don’t work till late hours like you three do, you see” Akhila said with a teasing twinkle in her eyes, “how far have we come?” Vinod smiled at first part of her sentence about working later hours. He has an appreciation for Akhila for she being very much independent, she just started her own charted accounting company – for now she is the only employee and rather employer too. She could never relate to working under someone. There is some flair in her, which appeals to Vinod. He said, “We made good speed Akhila, covered almost 150 kilometers in last 90 minutes, so we almost 1/3^rd through our journey.” “Wow!! That’s fast!!” Akhila’s eyes widened with excitement “do you want to stop for tea or small break?” “Yeah, I guess so, let me check for a dhaba, let’s not wake up these two, but” Vinod said and started looking around.

After 15 minutes of smooth drive with random low voice discussions, Vinod parked car in front of what looked like small Chai stall and said, “Well, finally here it is ‘The Chai’, country side.” Both Vinod and Akhila came out of the car, and suddenly realized how cold it was. While walking towards the chai place, Vinod tried to avoid stepping on dew drops hanging from tender grass blades grown just by the side of the highway. “There could be millions of those” Akhila said playfully. Vinod smiled back, “Can you check if Suresh or Gowri are awake, they could have some hot tea too?” “Sure”, Akhila turned back towards the car.

Vinod closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Though the air was cold, there was more freshness in it. He stayed there and watched a couple of heavy trucks pass by. Whenever a truck with heavy headlights passed by, the moisture in the air reflected that light causing some peculiar flashes; he waited and watched a few more trucks pass by. Finally, after being completely filled with the view and dew, Vinod walked towards the small wooden shop-like place. It was made of thin metal sheets covering all four directions and above with the support of 4 wet wooden logs. Posters of random movies were stuck on the metal sheets. In between the margin of the highways and the shop, which was a few feet away, there was a huge hoarding of local political leader wishing everyone a happy festival season. The poster was terribly soaked and showed signs of peeling off. At the entrance of the shop was a small fire place, around which an elderly person was making tea.  The man appeared to be in his late 70s. He greeted Vinod in a shivering voice “Salaam sahib, kya lenge?” Vinod looked back to see if Akhila returned. She was at car speaking something, and he could make out that all three would be joining. He turned back to elder man and said, “Four tea” showing his 4 fingers of his right hand. The elder person nodded and made a gesture to Vinod to sit of any horizontal planks and yelled mildly looking at the rear part of stall “Are you bringing the cups or not?”

Out of nowhere an elderly woman came out holding a huge utensil having lot of cups and saucers. She put them down near the fire place, and looked at the old man face sharply. The old man immediately looked down avoiding her gaze and got busy making tea. She looked at Vinod, and spoke as though she knew him from very long time and sat next to him saying, “Son, this fellow is always in hurry, I don’t understand why?” Vinod felt a surge of affection as old woman sat next to him. He looked at her face, she looks younger compared to him, but still old; ‘she should around 65 years old’ Vinod thought. Old man mumbled within himself after hearing the remark, but dint say anything back. “Tea powder is almost empty” Old man said as though trying to change the conversation, but not looking at old woman. ‘Hmmm,” she let out a long sigh, “how many more teas do this serve?”  He replied back still not looking her “20 more, probably” Vinod watched both of them closely. He felt there is something about them definitely more than what meets the eye.

“Your tea ready saab,” Old man put all 4 tea cups in plate came walking towards Vinod and looked around, “are you alone?” Vinod turned back towards car and saw all three coming, “No. Keep them here” he said with a gesture, and looking back at the old man, he asked “so, what are you going to do for tea powder after 20 cups of tea?” Old man bended down to put tea cups on wooden plank stopped midway with a sudden surprise which in few moments turned in to deeper surprise; he looked straight in to Vinod’s eyes. He did not say anything, put the tea cups on the bench and turned back. “Nothing much Son, I will make him run to market and get him bring more tea powder” the old woman who was watching all this said jovially. Vinod turned towards her and wanted to say something as he did not find her answer complete. Old woman also could make out that Vinod was not convinced with her answer and realized that this person has not put that question across just as a random topic to cut time. She tried to ease the ‘unconvincing part’ with a smile “arre don’t worry son, this drama happens once in every 2 days.” Vinod, though still unconvinced with the reply, liked old woman’s smile. It was beautiful, and its beauty was coming from confidence generated from unknown source. Vinod smiled back at her too and winked at her, “but can he run at this age?” Old woman laughed and before she could say anything the old man interrupted them with mild irritation “Of course I can run, it’s a habit you know, I’ve been running all my life.” Old woman laughed even louder, but Vinod could not join that and silently took a sip. He felt warm from inside; the tea was very tasty and comforting. Vinod asked, “So, how long have you been here?” Old man responded still holding on to that irritation, “since before you were born,” he paused a moment and asked, “How old are you?”  Vinod replied, “30.” Old man shook his head as though he was expecting that answer said “perhaps even before your mom and dad were born.” ‘Can’t argue there’ Vinod took another comforting sip and asked another question in a jovial mood, “Am sure you did not have this Chai stall from before my mom was born?”

The old couple suddenly went quiet; the small chai stall went cold in a moment. Vinod apologetically said, “Did I ask something wrong? I am sorry.”  Vinod felt guilty that he was probing their misery, but he was also genuinely curious to know more about them. He did not understand how not ask further, but still learn the story this couple.  After a moment of silence, he asked again cautiously this time, “Did I ask something wrong?” Old woman came out of cold first, she said “No, nothing wrong son in your question, son. At this age we really don’t know what is right and what is wrong.” She put up a ‘nirvana’ smile. It was this smile that hooked on to Vinod again. There are some evident problems this couple is facing, which he does not know yet, but obvious. And still this ‘smile’ pops up on old woman’s face often. ‘From where is the strength behind this smile coming from’ Vinod wondered and looked in to her eyes as though asking her to tell more.

“We lived here from the time we remember living. Both of us belong to this same village. Born here and this land is still taking care of us. I guess we will be buried in this land, as well.” She paused and continued, “And yeah, we had good money back then, and we owned a decent amount of land too.” Vinod nodded as though he expected that. This couple did not seem like they’ve been like this all their lives. They seemed to have lived well. He wanted to ask ‘what happened to all that money/land? Why this poverty now?’ but kept it for later as old woman seemed to continue. “World is changing so fast, we don’t think we belong here anymore; we cannot relate with anything” Old woman ended the topic quickly letting out a deep breath of warm air. Thin layer of moisture in her eyes painfully reflected dim light as truck passed by.

How would it be if world you lived in for 70 years, kept changing and changing and finally to an extent that you don’t relate to it anymore? It is not the landscapes that define a place; it’s the people who live there. It’s a race whoever adapts early survives. And in this race, ‘The Hearty’ always falls behind.  Somehow Vinod could already relate to what the old woman meant. He is just 30 and still there are aspects where he feels totally unrelated. Around 10 years back he could remember he would hang around with a group of friends in canteen have a lot of gossip and laugh aloud. But now, people seem to looking more in to their tablets than people around. And even in his friends who once sat with him in canteen, he could see few hook to tablets and others who feel lonely. Vinod felt emotional and asked in a very sincere tone “what happened to all that land now?” Old man pitched in and replied wryly, “your car is parked on it right now.”

Vinod was shocked momentarily. He did not know what to reply back. Their story was pretty evident; all their land was acquired by government to construct this 8-lane national highway. He was surprised to an extent as the highway was built almost 8 – 10 years back. It’s a long time since their land was taken and most certainly long time since the ‘big’ money for acquisition would have been paid as well. It’s pretty evident that the money definitely has not reached them. Also, Vinod got the hint that the old man made uncountable trips around government offices following up for money.  Vinod still asked, “Did you not get the compensation amount?” Old woman smiled back, “pretty evident isn’t it?” She continued, “The rules of game changed, this is not even our world, and we cannot fight it here anymore.”

Old man was growing more and more restless with every probing question Vinod is asking. He thought that the irony they are living every day is for Vinod, just a tea-time topic, ‘these younger generations can never understand or relate’ he mumbled. Old woman was at ease, she dint mind Vinod’s question as for her, whether Vinod is asking for time pass or genuinely concerned, did not seem to matter. “The money we once had was consumed overtime, we were farmers and been at mercy of ‘The Rain God’ all our lives” Old woman paused briefly and looked up at the local politicians hoarding and said, “Now, for the compensation money, we are at his mercy now.”  Vinod nodded his head in understanding. He inquired about the amount of land they had, and made quick calculations with numbers from 7-8 years back and concluded that the money they should have got should have been close to 40 lakhs. It’s a big amount and could keep this old couple really comfortable till their last day. Vinod’s emotion deepened. Old man pitched with helplessness, “looks like we are not the only ones waiting for our death, which of course we pray to come soon.” Vinod did not question anymore and looked at old woman. She was looking up, above to hoarding in to the vast skies, blankly. Her eyes were still and moisture earlier seen is no there anymore, as though the last few drops of tears left for this life have dried out. She said blankly, “I have only one last wish, that both of us die together.”

What was yours been for so long has been taken way and yet nothing can be done.  You cannot fight.  No one around is familiar to even talk to or share with; you only live because you are not dead yet. Sometimes just living itself is such a burden. It’s strange how life treats you that the thought of death is very comforting. The last 10 -15 years of their life had been a war. It’s unfair that it came so late in their life and took away everything from them, including hope. Though nothing to fight for, and yet they are fighting. Fighting to survive each and every day till death arrives – with a smile; a smile which is complete and nothing to lose anymore.

“Your tea went cold, you dint even drink a sip” Old woman broke the coldness with her warm smile. Vinod came back around. He looked towards car to see the status of remaining three. “Look here, Sir!!” It was Suresh’s voice. There was some excitement in it as always. “When did you guys come here?” Vinod asked. Suresh said playfully, “we were here from the time we parked our car on their land.” Old man and woman giggled at Suresh’s remarks and rest four of them joined them in some pleasant laughter bringing some warmth in to the chai stall.

T(w)o and Fro(wn) - Part 1

Camera – Check

Camera batteries – check

Travel Bags – Check

All Clothes – Check

Laptop – check

Laptop charger – check

Money – check

Mobiles– check

Diesel in car – Check

Vinod was packing stuff and going over the checklist. Did I miss anything? He cross checked the list and packed stuff again and gave out satisfactory nod, ‘nothing missed out – I am Batman.’ He sat on couch for a moment taking pride in his achievement. He rarely does packing before a journey, and the last time he did camera was forgotten.  It was remembered only when an elephant majestically walked across the road and Gowri almost went mad by that awesome sight. She searched all bags for the camera unsuccessfully and yelled “V… you lousy idiot  ... You forgot camera??” There was more helplessness in her voice than anger. It was one of those rare times when Gowri lost her sanity, and it took rest of the entire forward journey for her to calm down. But it dint end there, though she was not irritated anymore – she kept taunting and teasing Vinod about the camera – especially as he took up this “packing” as a challenge to prove a point that he can do it better than Gowri.

‘Once Gowri wakes up, she’d be surprised that bags are packed – of course she will definitely check for camera; but it’s first on my list’- a v’cked (wicked) smile popped up on Vinod’s thought. He went to kitchen carrying that v’cked smile along and made tea for himself and Gowri, carried both cups on a tray in to bedroom. Gowri was sleeping tight with a smile that appeared faintly glowing under dim light bed light. ‘Pure Serenity  ... what can I ever do to retain that’ all the usually hidden love in its purest form flooded his mind momentarily and he hesitated to turn on the light. “Gowri ….” He called sheepishly and patted her “It’s time to wake up.” Gowri moved gently and she mumbled without opening her eyes “mmm … what time is it?” “5 am, get up we need to start by 6 at least  ... I made you tea” Vinod said.    “Choooo chweet,” she kissed Vinod before she got up to freshen, “will be out in a minute.”

Vinod took a sip, picked his mobile and called Suresh. After a couple of rings, he heard a very low hello. Vinod shouted, “Hey buddy, still sleeping??  ... wake up you lazy A**.”  An irritated sound came responded “This Lazy A** is still sleeping … … … … just hold on one sec Vinod.”  Vinod heard a soft thud sound and imagined Akhila hitting Suresh to wake him up. He heard another thud, this is getting interesting he thought, he took another leisure sip of tea and put on hands free as though getting ready for a show.

‘thud’   

 Akhilaaaaaa. … ‘thud’

“What the …” Suresh’s voice tried to come out, but was suddenly interrupted, “thud thud …”get up you lazy a** ... thud”

“……” .. There was a brief pause on phone as though respite was given at war …

‘Thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud’ .. a series of battle punches followed, Vinod imagined ‘Rocky IV,’ only that this fight was one-sided. He thoroughly enjoyed his morning tea.

“Ok … ok… am getting up  ... now stop meri ma” Suresh voice accepted defeat.

“We are up V, we should be ready by 6 am” Akhila’s voice was closer to phone now. “Sure Akhila, we will pick you guys sharp at 6, see ya” Vinod cut the line.

Vinod sat on the couch sipping the remaining tea and the moment. But as his eyes fell on packed bags - he went over check list again just to be sure nothing was left out; after all he had a point to prove this time, ‘Nothing missed out’ – that v’cked smile popped back again confidently.  

“Nice tea V … thank you” Gowri came out freshed sat next to him sipping tea, “oh you packed everything as well … so sweet.” “Did you call Suresh? Are they ready too?” Gowri asked again immediately. Vinod got a little disappointed that she dint check the baggage, but managed to cover it up and say “yeah, they are up, you get ready too we need to start in 30 mins.” “Yeah sure, give me 5 minutes I will change.” She walked back into bedroom. That v’cked smile had to wait.

Vinod started working like F1 crew at pit stop - closed all doors and windows, watered his garden, pulled out 2 sets of house keys from key hanger – one for him and one for Gowri, sticked ‘no milk and no paper’ label on the front door, brought in all the clothes hanging in balcony for drying, washed both tea cups, folded the blanket – with amazing speed before Gowri came out freshed up in 10 mins. “What’s the time? Did I take too much time?” She asked and without even waiting for Vinod’s reply tried to start the pit crew routine. But she stopped instantly noticing that all the ‘pit crew’ task list has already been completed and signed off, “V.. What’s gone in to you today?” she said with surprise and added, “Early morning tea, utensils cleaned, bags packed.” “Well … you slept late yesterday after the call, did not want to strain you much” Vinod replied back honestly. But from somewhere behind that honesty, ‘that v’cked smile’ was struggling to come out.

I think we can leave now, should I take the “bags” down? Vinod said with a deliberate stress on bag. “Yeah we can, I am ready. Is everything packed?” Gowri walked towards bags, and after a close look she concluded “I think everything is here.” Vinod’s ‘that v’cked smile’, which is still struggling to come out, expected her to talk more about packing and specifically about camera seems like it’s not happening. After a moment of risk assessment, ‘That v’cked smile’ made its first move “Don’t you want to recheck if everything is packed?” Gowri replied casually wearing her footware, “Nah, seems complete, now chalo it’s already getting late.” ‘That v’cked smile’ got disappointed, how she can forget that ‘lousy idiot’ episode so easily – she drew the first blood; and I seek pay back. Gowri paused momentarily as though running over items in her mind. ‘That v’cked smile’ got a glimple of hope. Gowri walked towards the packed bags and picked up the checklist lying next to them. ‘That v’cked smile’ broadened as camera is listed on the top of all the items. “V, you forgot mobile chargers? We are going for 3 days and might need them” Gowri walked around the house to pick up chargers and casually stuffed them in to her hand bag and said “chalo.”  ‘Oh shit, did I really miss it?  How can she look only those which I missed? Better to remain silent’ he thought and quietly locked the doors. Both came out of the house with packed bags.

Only item that did not make out of the house was ‘That v’cked smile’ which got evaporated a moment back, after its epic defeat.

Happy V-jaya Dashami

It was 6 am in the morning and the Earth was shaking vigorously and a lot of people were running around screaming madly “Bhago Bhago!!” The screams were getting closer and louder and Vinod was rolling uneasily in bed. His head was spinning and eyes were heavy. Vinod tried hard to look around and things started changing their shapes in a bizarre fashion. For a moment, he saw Gowri screaming and running along with all the people. Instantly, he became alert and opened eyes completely, his body still shaking. It took entire half a minute for him to realize, that he was not moving by himself, but was being shaken violently. Before he could even think of saying something, Gowri stopped him with beautiful smile said “Welcome to Earth Sir!! Finally you got up, kab se chilla rahi hoon Utho, Utho.” All that Earth shaking he felt a moment ago made sense. He looked at Gowri. She was looking pious with a big deep red bindi on her forehead, wet hair curling down her shoulders. She was wearing a pleasant light yellow saree which was perfectly complimenting her complexion and that ever-present smile. Gowri did not say a word and stood there as though letting Vinod stare at her. All of a sudden, she winked at him with that ‘caught you’ twinkle in her eyes.

Vinod felt like burying his head deep, jumped out of bed, ran in to washroom, banged the door hard and locked it, but he still heard Gowri ‘s playfulness “You cannot resist me, Mr. Vinod” mixed with a hearty laughter through the door. Vinod always knew that Gowri had some magic over him, but this was one of those rare times he was caught naked. He looked in to the mirror and was surprised to see himself all red and realized how obvious his ‘fall for her magic’ was. Gowri knocked the bathroom door and said “Fresh up soon V, today is Dashami, hope you remember that.” “Oh .. yeah .. sure” he pushed words back hard through the door to reach her.

The moment Vinod came out, he was caught in Festive mood. He felt happy, though it was tough for him to decide if it was because of the beautiful sight he had a little while back, or because it was holiday for both of them, or may be because this was the day when the Mighty Mother destroyed the Evil.  Vinod loved God. He grew up listening stories of gods, goddess, demons, and believing that “In the end Good Triumphs over Evil, if it did not, then it’s definitely not the End.” Gowri too loved God, especially Maa Durga and Navratri is one of her Favorite festivals. Her love for this festival was very evident. The house was crisply clean and there was a low hum of sacred chants blended with faint fragrance of Agarbatti spread in air.

Vinod followed the fragrance and walked across the house towards the north-east corner. He came to a sudden halt, when he saw one of most beautiful sights he’s ever seen. On a raised platform, was a beautiful female in red dress, sitting regally on might muscular lion, spreading her eight arms, across the canvas, holding fiercest of weapons and yet wearing a blissful smile. Gold ornaments studded with emeralds and rubies were hanging down from neck till waist and her ears supporting radiant sun like discs. As a faint chill crept along his spine, Vinod let out a spontaneous ‘ah’ while his both hands folded up to join near chest for pranaam automatically. He felt assured and protected from bottom most layer of his heart and stood still without realizing how much time. Couple of tears rolled down his face unnoticed.

“V, where are you?”

Gowri’s voice brought Vinod back to his senses, but his mind with could not prepare a reply back immediately. He wondered how someone this beautiful, elegant, blissful slay most dreaded demons could or even hold such fierce weapons.

“Oh here you are ...” Gowri said as she was coming from behind. She slowed down her pace, as she noticed that Vinod was intensely lost in the picture before him, came and stood next to him calmly. She held his hand gently, leaned her head over his shoulder and glanced at the picture devotionally. Her mind prayed silently. Vinod came back to his senses completely, “She is looking awesome Gowri.” Gowri gave out a pleasant smile, still looking at the picture. She wished if time could pause this moment forever.

It’s my life, it’s now or never ….. Bon Jovi started shouted mercilessly with utter disregard to bliss both Vinod and Gowri were in. It was Vinod’s mobile ringing and he reacted as though he was programmed to pick the phone in one ring. He pushed Gowri’s head off his shoulder and sprinted across the house in 2 steps and reached his mobile. It was Suresh’s calling.

 Just as he was about pick the call, he heard a lion’s roar “V  ... You dare not pick the call now.” It was the roar of lioness rather; a lioness who is clearly ready to pounce upon and rip apart anything which enters its territory. Vinod looked at Gowri and was stunned at her transformation. Her eyes brows came closer with anger and face turned deep red as though all the blood in body was directed there. Her breathing was heavy burdened by insult of being pushed away.  Her eyes were half filled with tears and yet eyesight was piercing.  

Vinod cut the call almost as a reflex, but could not move any further. Both stood in their places for a couple of minutes till tension in the air diluted. Gowri came back alive first, “thanks for listening, I dint want to anything to disturb us, hope you dint mind.” She ended the sentence with a smile. Vinod tried to smile, but it did not come out in full. In the last 2-3 minutes, he felt the intensity of Gowri’s reaction. “Am sorry” he apologized genuinely. He felt guilty that he spoiled the moment together – so much enslaved to mobile and office. “That’s ok, don’t be … I’ll make tea for you in a moment” Gowri smiled in her same whole-hearted pleasantness and walked in to kitchen.

Vinod felt at ease a little and slumped in to couch. His mind somehow could not comprehend the transformations he saw in Gowri in the last 30 minutes from being beautiful to blissful to brutally angry and back to beautiful. All of a sudden something struck him. He went back and looked at the Picture which had the same assuring smile as always. But then, he clearly understood how, when Her devotees are threatened by evil the same assuring smile will be replaced by something fiercer even for the fiercest evils.

Nothing official about 'It'

<<Disclaimer - Strictly for back benchers. Whatever has been written just Read. Enjoy. Forget ;-)>>


<< Warning - If you are not a back bencher, please don’t read further. Don’t tell me later I am a racist ;-) >>

It was 4 pm on a busy midweek day, and Vinod was struggling between completing a priority deliverable due in 2 days and a much needed ‘tea break’ impulse being put up by majority of neurons in his mind. With every passing minute more neurons were joining the resistance, and finally Vinod gave up. He looked up over the upper rim of his cubicle to see what Suresh’s doing. Suresh looked deeply absorbed in work and was staring at his laptop screen. Vinod decided not to disturb him and rose to get a quick cup of tea.  “Buddy, look at this” Suresh called out with a little excitement. Vinod instantly got childishly curious listening to excitement in tone. Some back-bench acquired senses instantly told him he is going to look at something interesting. He took two quick leaps and came behind Suresh to peep in to this monitor.  Suresh was looking at some pictures of Sonal with her friends on facebook. “She went to Ooty recently? Wow” Vinod said with a wink, “seems she had a good time, too many sexy babes in one pic and no wonder you were looking so focused.” “You are not seeing the point bro’, if all the babes are in this pic then who took this pic?” Suresh looked up in to Vinod’s eyes as though searching for some reaction.  ‘Good question indeed’ Vinod thought. He took over the mouse to scroll to next pic. “***k?” a confused irritated sound came out instantly. Vinod just managed to keep the decibels levels of the ‘F’ word between him and best friend. Suresh nodded his head with full contempt and a hearty smile after getting the much expected reaction from his friend.

“I need a tea break badly now” Vinod announced. Instantly Suresh (Win + L)ed his laptop and joined his friend for the break. “How did he manage to join them, that ‘half-girl’ idiot?” Suresh started enjoying Vinod’s irritation. Both went to canteen and all along the way Vinod was letting out his surprised + frustrated + agitated + irritated mood reeling at barely audible decibels. Both of them sat on their favorite table at far end of the canteen, from where they can see each and every one in canteen. Though many sit at that place, only few will have ‘vision’ – Suresh calls this table his ‘High Nest’. He read somewhere that Eagles build their nests on the highest possible point on a mountain, which best suit their long and sharp line of sight. Though knowing that the actual reason Eagles build at high point is different, Vinod encouraged Suresh’s idea of calling it ‘High Nest.’

Both brought tea for themselves and settled in their High Nest. Vinod stopped his reeling and said “I thought Sonal was sensible, she proved to be just any other girl.” Suresh seemed agreeing to that, “For sure, all girls seem to have this ‘Thing’ for SRK type guys.” “What’s type??” Vinod put down his tea cup and looked at Suresh. Vinod’s eyes gleamed with some exciting anticipation. Suresh is good at analyzing people and has this funny way of expressing that analysis.  “SRK types Vinod, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai types” Suresh said making some gestures of handshake in air. Vinod nodded his head like his trying to understand as he said “Oh!! is that ……?” Suresh stopped a giggle and said with a wink, “it’s just ‘It’  ... nothing more, nothing less.” A giggle of the same frequency which Suresh stopped started appearing on Vinod’s face, “Hmm  ... SRK types... huh? ... nice way to name‘It’.” “Don’t you think the name for this breed is apt? I mean they will be all over girls always – eat them, drink them, be them” Suresh continued with some ‘Eureka’ excitement as though he is discovering a new concept, rather rediscovering a new concept here. Vinod interrupted  with mild hesitation “Sleep them too?” He somehow could not accept the fact that this idiot could have actually had a ‘chance’ with Sonal. Suresh burst out in to a hearty laugh, “that can never happen buddy, SRK types are rather homely and harmless guys and moreover, Sonal is a real sweet girl, you know that!!” Vinod nodded in acknowledgement, he has a very good impression about Sonal, but yet somewhere he could not understand or accept how a sweet girl like her be friend to such a jack ass.  Suresh tried reassuring Vinod more “These guys, correction rather ‘It’ will just be something like friends, help them in all sorts, and have that rather sugary sides.” Vinod smiled whole heartedly at the correction and added “So the best compliment ‘It’ would have got is cute or sweet!!”

“Exactly!!” Suresh yelled out, “they will do anything; they just want to live and die in vicinity of a female.” He continued, “They will carry their shopping, book travel tickets, call regularly to find out if lunch/dinner were had on time, and the list continues.” Vinod was enjoying this conversation, though he was unsure if he was enjoying as this conversation was reducing the his irritation or he actually started believing there is an entirely new species of men which he dint realize till date. Suresh concluded, “Trust me buddy, ‘It’ is an entirely new species!! A revolutionary discovery since man was born!! And I should be getting a Nobel for this.” Vinod loves when this best friend is in this kind of flow and appreciatingly patted on his back and said dramatically lifting his half-empty tea cup, “I hearby nominate Sir Suresh for Nobel”

“What’s the party about?” a sweet voice interrupted Suresh’s Nobel Prize Ceremony. It was Sonal and she was looking sweet and simple as usual. Both the guys instantly felt a wave of happiness all over them. Sweet and simple always had some magic on these two. “Kya chal raha hai?” Sonal comfortably sat next to Suresh. Vinod direverted the earlier topic, definitely not a topic before girls, “We saw your Ooty snaps on FB, nice pics!!” “Oh, you saw!!” Sonal screamed mildly with innocent excitement, “the trip was awesome, so cold it was and chilling.” “The snaps are really nice” Suresh joined, “who took them?” he added. Sonal seemed hesitant for a moment and then opened up,”Muthu joined us” and then she leaned forward as though telling a secret, “don’t tell him that I revealed this. He asked us to not to tell anyone.” Suresh laughed out loud “If he dint want to let anyone know he came along with you guys, he really should not have been in the pictures.” “You guys knew he came, then why you asked me?” Sonal put up a ‘you guys are unbelievable’ face. “Told na Sonal, we saw the snaps” Vinod put up an honest answer. “Hmmm …” Sonal gave a pause and said, “that’s ok, anyways I cannot understand you guys, especially Muthu, he is so moody. I don’t even know why he said not to tell anyone and he would not tell me.”

Suresh looked at Vinod, “add this to the ‘It’ list, moody!!” Vinod smiled back mysteriously. Sonal became curious, “what list?” “You won’t understand kiddo!!” Suresh said with a mocking expression. Sonal face turned red, “Don’t call me that, Am not a kiddo and I understand everything!! You tell na Vinod what list?” Vinod hesitated but looking at her innocent face decided to tell her, “We were talking about Muthu just before you joined, and Suresh was listing out charecterstics of guys like Muthu.” “Not guys, call them ‘It’ they are like guys, but not guys” Suresh immediately said. “You guys are so mad, he is a really sweet guy.” Vinod and Suresh looked at each other for a moment and immediately burst out in laughter. Sonal looked at them confused, and got up, “I have meeting now and got to get back to desk. You guys joining?” Having their share of fun and laughter at ‘High Nest’ they too got up.

On way back to desk, Sonal tried explaining them all the excitement of her trip in a couple of sentences. Suddenly Muthu appreared out of nowhere and greeted Sonal swinging his hand in full excitement, “Hi how are you? …” Before he could say further, Suresh said “Hi Muthu, we are here too.” “Guess he dint see we ‘guys’, Vinod added stressing the word guys. “Hi” Muthu said meekly and immediately turned back to Sonal “What happened you look so dull? Dint you have lunch on time?”

Vinod and Suresh again burst out in to uncontrollable laughter without even bothering about anyone being disturbed on floor.  Muthu left immediately without even bothering to look at them, something told him that the laugh was directed at him. Sonal tried stopping them from laughter, “ab kya hua?” Vinod who was now holding his stomach due to pain from that laughter managed to say “another item in the list checked.”

Sonal looked at them with muse, ‘how can these guys laugh so heartily’ and finally said “you are guys are so unbelievable” and started walking back to her desk.

3G - Gas/Gandhi/Gowri

“****     ** ***** *   **** idiot!!” Vinod cut the call and almost threw his mobile out of frustration.  He dropped himself in the couch and wondered what to do next. You eagerly wait for 5 long miserable grueling days for that one perfect Saturday morning, and this is how it has to start, curses!!  If this is how it started, imagine the rest of the day!! Imagine rest of weekend!! Vinod started feeling helplessly depressed, as though his dearest possession – WEEKEND - is being taken away from him by force.

Gowri walked in with a hot cup of tea, for herself and Vinod and comforted herself in the couch next to Vinod. Vinod took a sip of tea, “Wow!!” he let out a wholehearted contempt. “How can this beautiful female get this perfection each time and every time”, Vinod’s male ego ensured that these words won’t follow the earlier ‘wow’ successfully. After all it has been doing it every day for last 3 years. Gowri also took a happy sip of tea and asked What’s irritating you V? Vinod’s mind instantly came out of ‘Wow’ and went back to its previous irritated state. “********** Idiot” a mumble came out.

What’s irritating you V? this time a more assertive sound came out. Vinod’s let out his irritation “Owner is not agreeing to sign rental agreement”. “Why?” another question immediately popped out this time less assertive. “That idiot does not want to show the rent we pay in his income  ... ‘chor saala’ does want to pay more income tax!! For him nothing has to be on papers or legal and moreover tries to give me bhashan on trust between fellow humans and strength of a word given” Gowri knows they need some residence proof to get the address for domestic gas connection changed and they are running out of domestic gas. She let out a deep sigh “What now?” Vinod shook his head along with a lot of curses whirling in it... “Let’s see, there should be a way around, perhaps a self-declaration with an advocate attestation should be enough.”

“It’s actually ironic”, Gowri exclaimed, “that we being educated, having awareness still end up either doing nothing or encourage people like our owner evade taxes.” Vinod did not comment back. He knows Gowri’s passion for dreams like 100% justice, pure white money, responsible governments etc., and she can talk/ argue/ for hours on these. “What do you think V? Isn’t it an irony” She tried pushing her passion. ‘Don’t fall for this Vinod’ his inner conscience urged ‘it does not matter what you think – this irony will go on at least an hour and does not stop until it touches PM, Anna, Modi, Sonia, freedom struggle and even to an extent if Obama becoming president again controls these fraudsters in India .’

“May be its Ironic, but this time it’s going to get you gas at home” said Vinod calmly. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that am going to forger owners sign on whatever affidavit am getting done and submit it” Vinod kept his calm.

Gowri did not know what to respond and what to choose between - Gas or Gandhi, picked up tea cups and went back to kitchen. Vinod smiled at his calm Gandhian victory and quick changed his clothes to get gas home.