Friday, 21 February 2014

INORGANIC

INORGANIC

Vinod felt fresh. It was pretty early in the morning, very unusual wake up time for him.  As he shrugged deeply in to the old rug, the wire cot under him creaked loudly. It dint seem to bother him much though as he continued to stare in to the twilight sky. As random blue streaks started penetrating the darkness from east, few stars still shined bright and carelessly never minding the morning sun who’d soon dominate them.

The cool breeze from North carried sounds of rhythmic temples bells and mystique morning prayers from Shiva temple located in North-East of the village. Suddenly few bells, entirely out of sync with temple bells, came from somewhere much close. The bells got more and more random and curiously louder, and Vinod had to turn around in the creaking old cot. To his amaze there was a little calf jumping around merrily with a little bell tied around his neck.

“Did Sita wake you up?” a mild and warm voice said, “sorry for that, but this girl is very naughty”.  Vinod could see a shadow coming out of darkness holding loose end of rope to which Sita was tied. It was Siddappa.

“Aha, so this young one got a name too” Vinod pulled himself out off blanket and sat on the cot, “and she did not wake me up, I was awake for some time now.”

Siddappa looked at the calf lovingly and started caressing under its neck, “our Shiva temple pandit in his weekly preaching once mentioned that Sita ji was very beautiful and naughty in her childhood, this calf is very active, so Ratnamma named her Sita”

The calf was barely 15 -20 days old, white all over except for a small black patch on its fore head. She started jumping around looking at her mother. Siddappa took Sita to a small shed where its mother was tied and let her lose near her mother. Vinod asked curiously, “Does Sita’s mother also have a name?” and remembering that Sita Ji was born to Mother Earth, he asked laughing as he said it, “Is it Dharati?”

Siddappa laughed out too, “No sir, her name is Ahalya. Now don’t ask me why she was named that. It was random I guess”, after a little pause, he added laughing even louder, “Perhaps Ratnamma might be have an out of world insight on why she named this one Ahalya.” Vinod watched the young calf suckling milk in amazement.

“What was all that giggle about?” Suresh pulled out of his blanket – his voice little irritated. “Oh you are awake? I thought you are in deep ‘pig’ sleep due to tiredness of 400 km drive yesterday” Vinod said, and continued “but glad, it’s a sin to sleep off such a lovely serene morning”.

“Sleep?? I measured every inch the moon travelled across the sky amidst almost 4, 83, 000 stars last night, 3 flights flew in stratosphere 5 degrees north to this village, there was at least one UFO, and there was no pole star !! When all this was happening in outer atmosphere you are lost in stuff happening within this silly little compound” said Suresh in all irritation and paused to take a deep breath.

Siddapa looked at Suresh confused. He could not understand a single word. So could not Sita - even the little calf stopped suckling and looked at Suresh in amazement wondering ‘what kind of an animal might this be’.  Vinod knowing his friend very well, smiled a bit “so, why could you not sleep properly? Last night you said you were too tried from the drive and would sleep like a pig.”

Suresh’s irritation turned in to pity. He looked at Vinod, let out a deep sigh and nodded his head, “What kind of person are you? Anybody on Earth would have sensed the god-forsaken stink and elephant sized mosquitoes flying around!!”

The stench was really bad. Vinod looked around and wondered why he could not smell it till then. The mosquitoes were too many too. He just looked back to Suresh blankly.

Siddappa came around from cattle shed and said, “The stink is from the pit we dug nearby and in this pit we dump all the waste that comes from this compound in to it.”

“You are collecting all the waste of the house instead of throwing it out somewhere else?” Suresh said in disbelief and continued, “Why in the hell would you do that?”

Siddappa said proudly with smile, “I am trying to make organic manure.”

Suresh was suddenly lost for words. He definitely did not expect this kind of technical answer. His disturbed sleep was still irritating him.

Looking at his face, Siddappa mocked him further, “do you know Suresh babu? We even put the urine collected from cattle in this pit” and immediately burst in to laughter.

Suresh’s irritation was tickled and yet from aggravating further, it was slowly turning in to liking for effort by a simple village fellow. He just did not know it yet. He said in mild voice, “Why could you not cover the pit at least? That might reduce mosquitoes making merry in your house”

Vinod agreed to Suresh’s point, “Yes Siddappa, perhaps you can cover it”

Siddapa scratched his head and apologized, “yeah perhaps I can close it, I live here every day in this smell so did not realize it. Sorry if it was uncomfortable to you both”

Both Vinod and Suresh felt guilty for being insensitive. It was an honest effort by a simple village person towards the ecosystem and environment. He may not be able to understand complex language but the intent and effort to preserve nature was apparent in him.

Suresh tried to lighten the mood, “no worries Siddappa, we can get used to it.  I mean, I and Vinod are used to much worser shit in office, this is nothing.”

Vinod continued to what Suresh said, “Yeah and at least this shit has a point.” Suresh and Vinod laughed it out. Siddappa could not understand the context and yet he joined them for courtesy.

----

The village was very small with not more than 200 houses, most of them made of mud bricks. The houses lined against each other haphazardly and most houses had compound made of short shrubs decorated with random colored flowers. Occasional house had a mud compound and rarely was a concrete seen. The roads were muddy and extremely uneven due to every day trampling by herds of buffaloes, cows, and goats. There was dung everywhere. Vinod and Suresh were hopping more than walking. Siddappa was talking and walking unmindful of what’s on the road and where he is stepping. Vinod skid over a piece of mud and barely managed to control himself from falling. After few steps, he asked “Siddappa what is the deal with pit. How long have you been doing it?” Siddappa turned back. He looked happy about the question.

“Well, not for very long I must say, it’s just been 3-4 cycles” Siddappa continued, “and before that we had been buying chemical fertilizers”

“So you stopped buying chemical fertilizers all together now” Suresh asked.

“No, not all of it, but definitely reduced buying; my son, says that if we continue to do it and increase production perhaps in 2 years we can reduce at least 50% usage of chemical fertilizers”

“Your son?” Suresh asked again.

“Oh yes. I forgot to mention him. All this is his idea. He somehow managed to convince everyone in this village to make a pit” told Siddappa, with little pride in his voice, and showing his hand toward the pit in nearby compound.

“Interesting” Vinod said aloud. He was impressed with what he is seeing. He noticed that every house they crossed had a pit. ‘In a village primarily dependent up on farming and cattle, so much organic waste comes out and this is not a bad idea at all’ he thought.

Suresh came in again, “I know its little too early, but what about the people who are selling chemical fertilizers in this area. What do they have to say? Surely they are looking at loss of sales in near future”

Siddappa let out a big grunt and said, “yeah, in fact the son-in-law of our village sarpanch owns the distribution shop supplying to entire region of around 30 nearby villages. He is upset with my son and in turn me”

“And?” Suresh pushed the topic further.

“And? Nothing. Villagers are happy not to buy chemicals, they get good output from their waste, low cost. Let’s see what happens” Siddappa concluded.

“Actually, there might not be any immediate trouble. The pits seem small and the fields are very vast around the village – the amount of manure generated might not cover even 10% of fields. And compared to the profit margins in this business – money loss might be very small to your sarpanch” Vinod opined.

“Actually no. Initially even he thought this might end as a small house hold project. But it spread like wild fire. But they my son was able to convince people so well that everyone now is doing it. Actually my pit is a smaller one. There are many in this village who have pits up to 10 to 20 times larger than mine. From this year, we are actually over producing. Now we cannot replace chemicals entirely at this stage, but surely we can reduce its consumption by 40%. People in other villages are also picking this up – imagine the loss that sarpanch is looking at in upcoming 1-2 years” Siddappa concluded.

Vinod and Suresh contemplated on the situation for a moment in their own pace, and finally Suresh said “Well all the organs of sarpanch are going to become inorganic soon”. All three of them laughed and kept walking along the muddy path.

A buffalo herd walked past behind them trampling human foot prints in the mud.
---
The village center had a big neem tree around which a solid platform was built with a capacity seat almost 20 people on it. Behind neem tree was the village center a small yellow coloured single storey building with various posters of polio program,  health check ups, animal vaccination, child education, save the girl child etc., stuck all over its walls and doors. Immediately next to it on the right hand side was the primary health care center, locked, as the young government doctor posted here went on leave, indefinitely. Some say he has his own practice in the district town and comes here only when there are official inspections.  Towards the left of the village center was a library. Few young boys were sitting at the entrance of it reading stuff from yesterday’s news papers. Satellite TVs reached village faster than new papers.

As the Vinod reached closer to village center he noticed a seemingly aged buffalo chewing hay leisurely right next to the platform. It looked as though this animal had been chewing in the same place from a very long time, and the saliva dripping from the mouth wet a decent amount of ground near him. Vinod felt a bit surprised that it is unattended and its presence there rather odd, give the place and time.

On the platform were few local villagers talking various topics. As soon as Vinod and company came near the platform the villagers, except the one middle, all welcomed them with a warm smile. “Hello Siddappa, what brings you here?” said an elderly man in a friendly way. Siddapa smiled back at him, known him from past 50 years, “These lads” gesturing at Vinod and Suresh, “wanted to see our village. Am giving them a tour”

As mutual greetings were taking place, the person in the middle of the platform was watching Vinod and Suresh closely. Vinod too make a note of this rather cold person in a warm group of people. This was person occupied place of almost two people on platform, not that he was heavy, but the way he arranged himself ensured him double space. His eyes were sharp and head bald. He was chewing pan carelessly and his jaw moments were very rhythmic and involuntary having gained experience over past couple of decades. The corners of the mouth dripped with overfill of the pan but this person made no effort to clean it having got used to that as well.

Suddenly, breaking the greetings, the person in middle said in loud voice, “You are bringing in too many young people in to our village Siddappa, are these your son’s friends?”

Vinod and Suresh in no time could guess that he the sarpanch and wished him. Siddappa replied calmly, “They are not. But I want them to be friends with my son for sure”

Siddappa’s calmness irritated the sarpanch. He moved uneasily in his place and said in one long breath, “These city people are critical. They think they know the World and consider us villagers as useless people. They think what we do or been doing since very long is all useless just because they read something in some book. They lack experience and also the insight that comes from it. Hope these two are not lecturing anyone here about the ‘change’ that the village needs to get.” Sarpanch took a deep breath, little satisfied with self, having laid out all his cards properly. ‘Even if Siddapa’s young friends propose something he can deny that out-rightly on one point that they lack the insight coming of years of experience’ he thought and smiled within himself.

The buffalo chewing its hay leisurely, from the corner of the eye saw the flies accumulating in its territory, lashed its tail across once to shoo away all them. Seeing the flies flee he happily shifted his position and went back to chewing with his eyes half closed.

Siddappa laughed at Sarpanch’s hurry, “Actually this time am giving ‘change’ to these city folks. Am hosting them for a weekend as they desperately needed a break from their routine”

The friendly elder asked curiously, “What? Cities have all the entertainment, what is that they could not find there that they came to this remote village to find?”

Suresh pitched in with ease, “Peace Anna!! Peace” He put his hand around Anna’s shoulders and said laughing out loud, “But we got much more that what we bargained for. This effort your village it putting up for organic manure, it really refreshing. Right Vinod?”

Vinod got hint of Suresh’s intention, he joined his friend’s laughter, “Yeah. There is a lot we city dwellers need to learn from these villages. We run after money, here you don’t. At least not majority of you”

Buffalo stopped chewing the hay, apparently unhappy with the disturbance the humans near the platform are causing. ‘Why don’t they speak all this nonsense in their homes?’ he thought and closed his eyes tried hard to get his focus back on the chewing.

Before Suresh can add on to the discussion, Siddapa crisply came in and changed the topic, “Anna, remember the last time I went to city to meet my son and got lost and robbed? These two gentlemen helped me. They took me to their house, helped an aged man like me take rest, and finally helped me find him. I don’t see any difference in them and my son anymore.”

“Ah”, the elder eyes lit with happiness, “you mentioned. These are those good people.” He turned towards Vinod and Suresh and sounded pleading, “you both must come to my house for lunch now. After all you have helped the person who had been my best friend for over 50 years now. Please don’t say no”

Vinod and Suresh looked at each other for a moment and said yes immediately. The elder man happily said, “Am rushing home to get the arrangements done. See you both in an hour” and left.

“Well, let’s start moving. Now that Anna set us a timeline we should be finish temple visit and go to his house in an hour” said Siddapa and then turning towards the sarpanch said again, “am glad these kids met you too Gangappa, see you later.”

Gangappa did not expect this type of twist in conversation, though all what he said a moment ago in deep breath did not hold relevant anymore, he was rather happy that he let it out at least. “Yeah, am glad too and thanks for helping my friend” Gangappa said not seeing them in the eye and continued, “Even I need to go” and just started walking in other direction.

Suresh and Vinod followed Siddappa and just as they were about to cross the village center, Vinod looked back at the buffalo. Its owner came out of nowhere and hit it hard with a stick shouting ‘here you are you lazy fellow, I’ve been searching the entire village.” The buffalo got up in jerk, not minding the hit as it hardly mattered due to the thick skin and started running in the way the Sarpanch left.

 ‘How many hits like this would actually make a buffalo realize’ Vinod smiled at his own thought.
---------

As the sun was hitting horizon, a white car came out of the muddy road and took right on to the national highway.

 “In all the wonderful two days at Siddapa’s place, Vinod, I forgot to ask him what his son studied? I liked the sincerity with which this remote village is making its effort to get more and more organic. Siddappa’s son must be really knowledgeable in this organic farming or else how can he motivate so many people who have years and years of experience.”

Vinod looked at Suresh mockingly and said, “I asked Siddappa and you’d be surprised at his son’s education. His son spent most of his childhood in this village and is very motivated to do something back to it. It’s got nothing to do his education, except a strong motivation to do something right.”

Suresh did not understand, “what you mean just motivation?”

As car started to cruise on the highway, the Vinod took a deep pause said, “Siddappa’s son is post graduate in mathematics from IIT”

                                                                      ----------

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

"Oh So Beautiful Me"

 Hey readers – I intentionally did not conclude this narration and kept it open for each of yours thoughts. I request you all to comment you thoughts and opinions on this topic and let me know if you agree or not.

“Oh So Beautiful Me”

The office canteen is actually a food court kind of set up in a reputed and very big business center which hosts more than 20 different multi-national companies. The top floor is common for all companies and a variety of food shops selling all types of cuisines lined up the periphery of the floor. Close to 1000 tables and its accompanied chairs in colors, mostly deep pink and grey, are spread densely inside the periphery in a symmetric fashion. The floor stand-alone employs more than 300 people working in food shops, facilities or maintenance, across 3 different shifts of 8 hours covering all 24 hours.  The office crowd which fills the floor is extremely diverse in social, educational, economical, ethnical, professional, regional senses.

Late afternoon on that Monday, the top floor as usual was filled with quick-snack short-break people from all most all offices in the building. Vinod and Suresh settled at their “High Nest” of office canteen, watching the crowd.

Few moments ago, both of them were in tough meeting with their client which went on for 4 hours, much beyond the scheduled time. Suresh even loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top most button of his shirt as soon as they were out of meeting room, as though just survived out of a boxing ring.

“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm” Vinod let out an extra-long contempt out of his jammed brain. Suresh nodded his head resonating to Vinod’s contempt and said nothing – just kept looking at the crowd, though not thinking about them. Vinod said, “what do they want yaar? What they asked last month and what they want now – I mean how can it be so different?” Suresh nodded again, still looking at the crowd, but said nothing. Vinod unmindful of lack of response was contemplating in his mind about the meeting they just had.

Couple of unnoticed minutes passed by and slowly Suresh said, “Vinod, look at that girl  ...” His voice did not carry his regular enthusiasm. Vinod looked at her top down, spent an extra moment near waist trying to read the letters on her red and white identity card, and forced out a smile as he thought Suresh was trying to dilute the mood, “Yeah, what about her?” Suresh questioned back, “What do you think of her?” Vinod looked at her again, she looked tall, close to 5’ 8” perhaps, long straight hair, nice figure, fitted neatly in to trim white shirt, first button left loose, over a knee length grey formal skirt. Though he could not make out the words on the badge, the red and white colors of it hinted that she probably worked for a leading bank. Vinod put out his opinion, “She looks very formal, trim, sexy, and working for bank in 1st floor.”

Suresh nodded in agreement and said, “You know what’s selling her Vinod – her CV or her looks?” Vinod could not understand the context of these questions as this definitely is not the way his best friend talks when he looks at a girl as pretty as this. He made an attempt and looked at the girl again keenly and nodded his head – could not get the words for this unknown context.

Suresh continued, “it’s not what you know, it’s how you present it; this is what sells in corporate” Vinod looked blankly in to Suresh’s face. Age old theory, often ‘conveniently’ forgotten. Suresh continued, “what do you think went wrong in today’s meeting Vinod? There is definitely nothing wrong with content. It’s just that this client manager expected it to be more glam – nothing else.” He continued, a bit emotionally, “How you talk? How you dress? How you eat? How you behave? How you shit? All this is more important than what you know.”

Vinod laughed at Suresh’s outburst. Suresh too laughed easily at his own words. Vinod looked at the girl with red and white badge. She appeared explaining something to person next to her passionately. Vinod found her passion rather unusual. Usually when someone explains something passionately – there will be some animated expressions with body movements synchronizing those expressions along with some loud voice – may be these come as a natural reflex for underlying passion. Vinod watched her intently and thought perhaps she is struggling too much to control her natural reflexes by some acquired “corporate” behaviors.

Suresh wondered for a moment on what Vinod was watching in her so keenly, “Come out of her buddy?” he said with a wink. Vinod smiled back. Suresh went on, “This so called corporate behavior - I think few people take it so seriously that for them – technical knowledge is secondary or even not existent. If you know how to present, you can survive. In fact not just survive – get anything you want in big companies.”

“You saw all that in this girl? I thought you were just looking at her tight shirt” Vinod mocked casually, keeping his earlier observations about the girl to himself.

“Actually, yes! Though, we see them every day – never actually realized” Suresh said.

Vinod glanced at her again and thoughtfully, “If what you said is true, I wonder what she might be thinking? It must be hard for her to control natural personality and be somebody else in office”

“Hmm”, Suresh too looked at her with long thought in mind “if you need to do something which is not yourself, and yet look comfortable to everyone, each day – what would it mean?”

A few silent minutes passed between both in contemplation.

“That’s it, I know” Suresh declared, throwing up his hands in air and bending them behind his head. “Oh, so beautiful me!!”

“What??” Vinod asked clueless.

“That’s what they think man. This thought gives them so much solace, so that they can every day be what they are not” Suresh said as he felt little excited. A faint impression started generating in his mind which with each passing moment was getting clearer and clearer.
Vinod tried to understand, but somehow he was nowhere near and said sincerely, “enlighten me!!”

“Hmm .. Let me give you some demonstration. Call Rex and ask him to join us for tea” Suresh said with a twinkle.

“Get lost! Am not calling that idiot here”

“Calm down. It’s only for purpose of some social experimentation my dear Vinod. Please bear some inconvenience for sake of higher learning” Suresh said with an assuring gesture.

Suresh picked up Vinod’s mobile with a little fight and called Rex, the moment call got connected he tossed mobile back to Vinod and, “Say Hi” with very low voice and high animation.

Vinod gave Suresh a killer look, and spoke back in to mobile very gently, “Hi Rex, where are you?

“…….”

“Oh Ok, me and Suresh are in canteen, want to join us?”

“……..”

“No occasion buddy, just like that. You know how the meeting went, so just a little break”

“……..”

“Ok, come. We are waiting” having concluded the call, Vinod pushed his mobile on to table, and let out a subtle f word.

“Did you just call him buddy?” Suresh mocked with a wink.

Vinod was surprised too, “did I say that? Oh God!”

Few more minutes passed by in waiting. The girl with red and white identity card was listening this time. She frequently was pushing her hair back with left hand and making every effort to listen intently. The other person with her seems to be in his mid-thirty’s, perhaps her manager – definitely does not seem to be her colleague. He looked confident, reclined back in to the chair, cross legged and shaking one leg, his hands loosely hovering all around him as part of explanation. Cleanly shaved, spiked hair, expensive clothes, luxury watch loosely hanging at his left wrist, sparking shoes – over all a perfect package; Vinod wondered, ‘how much time does he spend to get ready to office each day?’ 

“Yo guys, Tthankks forr Khalling me” Rex came in out of nowhere and grabbed a chair “That meeting was rreally exhaustive.”

Rex looked pretty similar to the guy next to the girl with red and white badge, except that he dint have a gotie and had an expensive watch with leather strap. Too much perfume increased the density of air around him.

“No problem Rex”, Suresh smiled at him pleasantly, “yeah that meeting was something” paused a little and said “don’t you think so too Vinod?”

“Yeah” Vinod nodded briefly. He still could not believe he is having tea with this Rex thing.

“Dude Vinod, you werre awesome, I mean you rrocked man!!” Rex said, raising his hand for a high five.

Vinod did not know if he had to respond back to that, rather dint see the need to do that either, but after a couple of awkward moments seeing that Rex’s hand is still in air, returned a reluctant high five.

After high-five there was some uncomfortable silence, Rex did not know what to talk, Vinod and Suresh are not the people he usually hangs around with. Nor does Vinod; he looked at Suresh to break the awkwardness. Suresh in the interim was thinking on how to start his social experiment and tried giving it a start.

“How did you find today’s meeting Rex?”

“It was ggrreat!! This client is really thorrough in wwhaat they need”

Vinod’s mouth opened wide in surprise, but did not say anything.

Suresh nodded as though agreeing to what Rex said, “You are right!! They really knew what they want” and then thoughtfully added “Rex what did they actually want?”

Vinod smiled within himself, he wanted to hear what Rex says for this.

Rex opened his mouth to say something, could not get right words, closed his mouth, and thought for a moment, glanced both Vinod and Suresh for their reaction ‘as this was unexpected direct question as though challenging his understanding’ and finally said

“Kkome on man, they want it to get it morre end-userr accepttable and frriendly”

Vinod’s smile dissolved within him ‘may be Rex is not as dumb as he thought’.

“Yeah agreed, that’s what the client told too, but don’t you think it’s very unlikely to have those features so soon, and that too when we are so close to delivery” Suresh persisted.

Rex checked something in the expensive smart phone, which bigger than his palm, said “bbut that’s what wwe arre paid to do rright? Give customer what they want? That’s even one of our company’s guiding principles, I don’t want to complain”

Vinod’s irritation levels started shooting up; he could not relate between what’s been asked and what’s been answered.

Rex continued hurriedly, “You guys need anything to eat, am famished?”

Suresh and Vinod got the hint, ‘he is trying to change the topic’, Vinod said, “Yeah I will have some upma, dint have lunch too preparing this meeting.”

Rex said adjusting his cuffs and checking something in his smart phone again, “I’d grab a Sub and some cold coffee, how about you Surresh?”

“I’d have a sub too” Suresh said mildly and got up from his chair.

Both Suresh and Rex walked away in to the crowd.

Vinod took this time, and looked at the guy and girl in red and white badge. They seemed to be having a good time. The guy is leaning over the table and almost in to her talking something and she was laughing out loud with a visible blush.

‘Hmm’ Vinod let out a sigh and said to himself ‘whom am I stuck here with?’

5-6 minutes passed by and Suresh came back alone with food on a plastic plate, he said “Rex had something come up, he had to go”

Vinod let out a sigh of relief. This Rex thing is not what he wanted after a tiring meeting, and surprisingly Rex felt that the meeting was very good. ‘Oh God, why?’ make these people.

Suresh sat down quietly a little upset that his social experiment had to end abruptly, “I guess he left on purpose. Clearly he was not comfortable with us asking so many questions.”

“You mean the questions were too technical for him” Vinod asked biting in to his upma, and then said again “I thought he knew what was needed by client, definitely not dumb as I thought”

Suresh thought for a moment, took a bite of his sub, “Hmm, questions may not be too technical, as the client had been yelling it for 4 hours, but he definitely was not comfortable giving answers his usual way, with us he could not just sell words”

Vinod was still not convinced. He knows Rex is not technically strong, in fact his knowledge is just basic, and still he was in company for last 5 years and even getting regular promotions. Wonder how he manages that? Vinod said, “How can you just sell words and live on projects worth millions of dollars?”

“It’s just not words my dear Vinod, it’s a total package” Suresh said almost in a single breath, 

“Talk in accent, dress smart, carry smart phones, check it often, take bath in good perfume, gel you hair – everywhere, wear suits often, put a lot of emphasis on body language, – and finally give an impression that you belong to this corporate culture.”

Vinod smiled at few random usages of words in Suresh one breath statement. He suddenly asked, “Why does Rex have accent? Has he been out of country for some time?”

Suresh laughed, “Who said you’d have accent only if you stay out of country. Every simple call center will teach you to roll your R’s and Bite your V’s.”

‘Really, is it that simple?’ Vinod shook his head in disbelief. He said, “All I always thought was that if you need to do something you need to have right knowledge and right resources” and continued after a little pause, “the list you mentioned above, who makes it for them?”

Suresh looked at his friend pitifully, “General knowledge Bro’. This is what the world around you is selling. Looking in to any advertisement, be it smart phone or a watch or car anything. People will be so smartly dressed and talk so elegantly.”

Vinod said, “It’s an ad buddy, it has to be made beautifully to attract audience. It’s needed there.”

Suresh gulped down the last big chunk of sub and nodded his head vigorously and pointing his index finger towards Vinod “You used two very important words man – beautiful and needed”

“What?” Vinod said surprised.

“What you said is absolutely true” Suresh came back to his calm, “now, most of people look at these ads and other stuff and want to look like those ‘beautiful’ people in it so that they can be ‘needed’ as well”

“What crap? You sound more like a conspiracy theorist” Vinod dismissed the entire explanation.

“You don’t believe me? But, this is the basis of this entire corporate civilization” Suresh pressed on his point.

Vinod shook his head disapprovingly, “when you know your stuff, when you talk with sense, be responsible, that is when people feel the need for you.”

“Agreed to all the above” Suresh did not disagree, but added “But it needs time to recognize all that. No one has that much time to really understand what you are.”

“So people do all this to get that instant approval or acceptance?” Vinod still was not convinced, “in other words, I mean, not be themselves to get ‘needed’”

“It’s actually a thin line Vinod, very tough to get a definition” Suresh thought for moment, “Let me put it this way – this corporate stuff is so widely accepted that people enjoy being that – hence I said “Oh so beautiful me”; it makes them happy being so too. Very few actually may realize that it’s not their true self and stick to their natural behavior. And if you are not like that, then they may even consider that you don’t have proper manners.”

“Hmmmmmmmmmm” Vinod let out an extra-long contempt again. He rose to leave. He said to Suresh laughing “Let’s leave bro, before anyone see’s that I have been eating upma with my hand and think I don’t have proper manners.”

Suresh joined the laugh heartily, “you can never have manners, all you can be is hearty”

While walking back Vinod, from the corner of the eye, looked at the table where the girl with red and white badge was sitting. They were not there at the table and looks like they left a couple of minutes ago. Facility personnel started cleaning the table promptly.

Vinod suddenly stopped, and Suresh stopped too saying “what?” “Look that him” Vinod pointed to the person cleaning the table.

Gelled hair, gotie, smart pink shirt and grey dungaree uniform. The facility person was holding as expensive smart phone with his left hand and talking to someone. A thick metal watch was loosely hanging down his left hand.

Vinod and Suresh stared at each other – no words exchanged. 

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

GIRL. POWER.


Girl. Power.

‘How do you measure darkness?’ Do we have something like you have a measure for intensity of light? How much darkness is little darkness or more darkness? Or is the measure of darkness is just as simple as dark, darker, and darkest? If it is so simple, then after what amount of darkness does dark turn to darker and then eventually to darkest? As light has a wave length to it, does darkness too has a wavelength? Did anyone do research on this before? If not why does not darkness interest anyone? If yes, who might be that bright guy? Is darkness just absence of light? Or light just absence of darkness? If light travels in to dark ness, can darkness too travel in to light as well? Did darkness come first or did light come first?

Vinod was contemplating lazily in to darkness before he was brought back to this world, by mild yell of Gowri “why did not the emergency light start?” Her yell increased in intensity as she was reaching the end of her sentence. The word ‘light’ pushed Vinod out of his dark thoughts suddenly. He struggled for words. He looked around, nothing was visible. He peeped hard and felt he saw darker shadows of house furniture against lighter darkness of general darkness. “Vinod... are you listening? Where are you?” yell came out with higher intensity. “Yes” Vinod managed after little struggle. “I guess even the emergency light is not working, any idea why it’s not working?”  Gowri asked intensity still high, clearly she is irritated with the power cut.  

Vinod considered his options very quickly – he has 2 options: Option 1. I know why it’s not working - he gets blasted ‘why dint you fix it then, knowing that power cuts are so frequent these days? Option 2: I don’t know why it’s not working – he gets blasted ‘you never take interest in house hold work; I have to do everything from grocery list to gas booking.’ He could not make out which one to choose, but finally went ahead with option 2. “Oh that surprising, dint realize till now it’s not working” Vinod painted some innocence in his voice. Gowri did not feel convinced; it was nowhere near her anticipated solution. “This bloody government, they increase electricity bill so often and so much, they don’t even give current steadily’ she mumbled loudly.  Vinod let out a silent sigh and relieved smile in to darkness as the topic diverted from him. He pushed Gowri’s thoughts further away from him, “yeah, nonsense government – they strap you with misery through taxes, price hikes, and mediocre services – feels so miserable and frustrated.” “Yeah Vinod, current price almost doubled in last two months – all the money we pay ends up as black money – frustrating!!”

Vinod’s smile broadened as his strategy was working clearly. Gowri paused a while and declared in despair “In this current capital world – how much money is enough money? Every year your salary is increased and so are the prices everywhere - including current bills. There is nothing left so save at all. The saving potential of an average citizen never increases.”

Vinod tried to pacify her despair “That’s the plan I guess Gowri, the government does not want people to save money. They only want us to spend. Only if citizens spend would the government get income in form of taxes and in turn will the country run.”  “I know all the crap Vinod” Gowri cut him immediately, “every country has this system, but only in ours more than 80% of what we pay turns black and we will be suffering endlessly.” Vinod shut his mouth immediately, he knows this is a topic where he cannot win or even try to convince Gowri. He struggled for his next words, but could not find any. Gowri picked up from where his mouth shut, “Take interest in what’s happening at house, you will know how tough it’s to run it. IPL is not everything in life.”

Vinod felt miserably surprised. He had no idea how the topic came back to him again. For a moment he thought he got her successfully diverted towards government.  Gowri did not stop, “I’ve been telling you to buy inverter from last 2 months – you never listen” and simply walked away in to the shadows.

Vinod, darkness, and his contemplation remained in the room.

Why are women this complex? Why anything in world has to end with men? Or start with them there in first place? What can I do if government increases prices? Where did I go wrong in what I said earlier? Did she know I was deliberately trying to change topic? Was I that obvious? Why she yelled at me in first place? Was it because emergency lamp was not working? Or that I did not buy inverter from last two months? What has IPL got to do with any of this? ... ?? ..... .... .... ?? .... ??   ...... ............................ ..........??


Saturday, 13 April 2013

BLUE PURPOSE


WAY V LIVE

BLUE PURPOSE
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Why a man works 16 hours a day, each day – what would he get by making his country a strong nuclear power?
Why a woman chooses to work in slums all her life – what would she get by bringing smile to millions?
Why a man donates each and every rupee he earned in his life – what would he get by feeding the hungry?
Why a man works hard irrespective day and night for 20 years – what would he get by building the richest business empire in the country, or perhaps world?
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Finally, all the fog from the World evaporated. The highway was shining jet black in 8 am sun. Tender grass flowers gleamed merrily in warm south-west winds. Clear skies expanded across horizons anticipating to be filled with something. Green fields, heavy with harvest, appeared as getting their heads close and down gossiping and giggling within themselves. Ignoring bright sun, gleaming flowers, clear skies, and shy green fields the white Honda city was accelerating every second fueled by some unknown high-energy combustible.

“How about a small tea break?” Suresh announced turned towards back seats. Vinod nodded his head and said “am in.” Gowri was still her thoughts about the corruption and could not decide “Am not sure, not feeling like actually – but if you guys want, I don’t mind.” Well, let’s have tea then” Suresh turned forward and as though remembered suddenly turned back and “Vinod, I beg you, please do not look in to the eyes of these chai people too.” There were giggles in the car. Akhila interrupted without taking her eyes off road and foot off the gas, “sorry boys, your chai has to wait!!

The giggles suddenly ended and a moment of silence popped up. Akhila said again, this time acknowledging the silence, “Sorry boys, your chai has to wait!!” The assertiveness in her voice ensured any question the rest three had in their minds, if at all they had, had not even originated. All three of them looked at Akhila and in a few minutes the situation, which seemed random initially, become crystal clear once all the check points – toll booth, blue car, long queue, and son-of-bitch were sequentially connected.

“Nah that’s all right” Suresh managed few words as a sense of excitement started to build up inside the car. “Do you remember the car number?” Gowri pitched as though sharing the same amount of intensity since beginning. Akhila responded immediately “No, I don’t. But I remember that idiots face very well – his mocking monkey face #@##$@#” the last few words got dissolved in the intensity. Gowri nodded her head agreeing to every letter of the dissolved words. “He could not have gone much far” Suresh said thoughtfully, and then mumbled within himself, ‘what was he driving?’

Vinod felt excitement too, but was a little cautious expressing it. He was definitely with the group’s common objective of overtaking the blue car, but was it just that? He was not entirely sure.

Suresh Yelled with enthusiasm – “Guys, its BMW.”  Vinod yelled back “which series?” The tone in either voice very close to kinder garden children singing rhymes in chorus. Suresh turned back and looked at Vinod feeling guilty – there was silence between them for a couple of minutes –a silent mourning for a grave mistake “how could a BMWs model be missed?’

Watching these two Gowri shook her head irritatingly ‘boys – hopeless creatures’ and then a doubt popped up in her head and she put it out in open air loudly, “Is that a bigger and powerful car than ours?”  Before either of boys could open their mouth, Akhila snapped in “Does that matter Gowri? It’s never with the horse; it’s always with its rider.” The intensity in Akhila’s voice convinced Gowri.

Vinod and Suresh denied Akhila’s statement out rightly but did not dare to say it out. But both within themselves thought that it’s better to focus on purpose than to get in to an argument they can’t win. “He would not have gone far” Vinod brought out some positivity, and then added thoughtfully, “but we have to have little more speed.” Akhila stepped on gas a little further in agreement.

Akhila was managing high speed with some professional smoothness. Though the car was zig zagging on the road between trucks and squeezing between all kinds of vehicles to make way and race ahead, there were never sudden brakes or random jerks. She kept her focus and calculated her way well. The other three kept their eyes on road eagerly searching. Every time a blue vehicle was seen excitement levels went up, only to fall down when it was the right blue.

Twenty five minutes passed by in high speed and high spirits and still there was no trace of blue car. Akhila started feeling the strain of intense concentration. Gowri felt concerned for Akhila. Suresh deep down felt that the blue car would have reached Bangalore already, given the BHP of the car, but did not want to spoil the mood. Gowri kept her eyes on the road searching determined to help Akhila. Vinod for a reason unknown felt that this pursuit would not go wasted. He continued to search at the same time trying to recollect the details of situation that triggered this sky fall.

Though he could well make out the speed of their car, as they were zooming past multiple vehicles, Vinod peep forward for a glimpse at altimeter – 120 KMPH not bad. Vinod thought even the blue car might not be going beyond this speed, perhaps even could be 10 – 20 km less as he might not be knowing that he is being chased, and Akhila had been at this speed for over 30 minutes now – with all calculations in place, they should be seeing the rear bumper of blue car anytime now.

“There!!” Akhila shouted as her eyes gleamed at the sight of her prey.  The air in the car warmed up by a couple of degrees.  Vinod watched the blue car keenly his observation was right- it’s a big car but the driver is casual. But he thought ‘we need to see how he reacts when a smaller car driven by girl is trying to overtake him and also if we keep the current speed in another 4-5 minutes they should be able to conveniently get past this BMW. It’s just a matter of time’

Suresh felt relieved when he saw the blue car. Last 30 minutes have been intense and he could not take more than that. Earlier that day its’ was Vinod’s philosophy and now its Akhila’s intensity. He knows Akhila’s is not a girl who gives up easily especially when provoked. But then is this much seriousness needed in life, that too on a vacation? He knows that in Akhila’s current intensity he cannot say anything against, as she expects him to support her the most.  He looked forward at blue car and thought given their current speed in another 4-5 minutes they should be able to conveniently get past this BMW. It’s just a matter of time before the intensity reduces and then he will try his best to get some laughter back in to the car.

Gowri felt relieved when she saw the blue car. Now that the car is in sight, as soon as they overtake it, Akhila can ease out of the stress, and as they making good speed, perhaps in another 4-5 minutes.
“Come on Akhila” Gowri said in haste, she wants this intense episode to end quickly for Akhila’s sake. “Yes, am on it, may be another 4-5 minutes” Akhila said.

Couple of fast minutes passed by and BMW was well within reach. Akhila pushed gas a little down and the front end of their car was just few feet away from back bumper of the blue car. Akhila judged her position carefully, this is the final leap. No traffic coming from front, not a car in sight behind them, and the blue car is still unmindful of its predator.

Akhila made the move and remaining 3 held their breath. At 140 kmph she turned the wheel fast as entire car jerked and dragged right on black tar with a screeching sound. The blue car seemed to be pulled towards its left as a reflex action to the screeching sound. Taking the opportunity, Akhila straightened the car from the drag and leaped forward unhesitantly.

As White Honda City’s engine slowly started to creep over the Blue car from behind, a chill of excitement crept up all 4 spines as their moment came closer and closer. Just as their car was about to overtake the Blue car, an utterly unexpected thing happened.  Akhila pressed the brake momentarily just to match speed of Blue car and honked loudly to get the attention of that Blue car.

Blue car driver who was still recovering from his reflex action of moving left was totally caught off-guard by the loud honk and stared out of his window. His face was struggling with expressions – he was surprised, astonished, and more importantly clueless. Akhila locked her eyes with that blue car driver, who seemed to be in his early thirties, stared at him coldly and slowly pushed the middle finger of her left hand right across his face.

Suresh, Gowri, Vinod felt as clue less as the blue car driver. Everything happened so suddenly and no one could even slightly guess what was in Akhila’s mind. Vinod recovered first and looked deeply in to Akhila’s face. She was as intense as she was from last 30 minutes not a degree less or a degree more. Her eyes calm and cold staring in to Blue driver face. There was not even momentary gush of anger in her face even during her finger gesture – just cold vengeance.

A moment later, all the 4 in the white car were pushed back in to their seats with tremendous force as Akhila pushed the throttle as thought testing the very capacity of this machine. The car leaped forward with a roar and shot out like an arrow on the black highway. They could hear a screeching sound from behind – the shriek of rubber burning over the road or more rather of a burning anger resulting when an humiliating insult is rubbed over huge ego. The anger of a hurt ego was audible in the screech.

Gowri and Suresh had similar questions in mind. ‘Why did you do this?’ but then what Akhila did seemed right as well. If they had simply overtaken the blue car, they would have achieved the result – but would that have solved the purpose? Both of them started to settle down slowly in their minds and returned to ease gradually – without asking a single question and more over in full support to Akhila.

Vinod was more occupied with Blue car driver – ‘how would he react now?’ It’s obviously a great insult to his inflated ego. He could see efforts of Blue car trying to stabilize back on road and coming fast towards them from behind like a raging bull.  Within moments the high power of that Blue car ensured they are very close bumper to bumper. The blue car started honking badly, rather impatiently as he too had a point to prove.  There was no effort yet from the blue car to overtake them, but seemed like his idea was to irritate everyone in ahead of him for tickling his ego. Akhila continued to remain cold. She dint react, budge or flutter.  

The more the blue car was honking the more enjoyable in seemed with in white car. Gowri said with laugh, “poor fellow, he must be burning from inside.” Suresh said immediately corrected Gowri, “aa aa, not inside, but below.” Laughter poured in from all corners. Vinod somehow could guess Akhila’s next move. He saw that her intensity has not come down at all despite the laughter. He said, “It’s not over yet is it Akhila?” Akhila was pleasantly surprised, though remained focused, turned back and said in smile, “No it’s not over, in fact the real torture starts now.” Vinod nodded in consent with a reciprocating smile. Gowri and Suresh were strangely surprised within themselves ‘It’s not over?’

Akhila did some calculations the traffic on highway increased as they started passing small villages which seemed to be dispersed randomly near the out skirts of big city. ‘So traffic is going to be there, let it be for my advantage’ she thought and slowed down the car.

The blue car behind noticed that white car was slowing down.  The driver left out a satisfied grunt with a couple of incoherent words ‘how dare that b****’. He did not wait for the white car to shift to left side of road to allow him to overtake. Instead he skid is car towards extreme left of the road to overtake the white car again. While he was trying to overtaking he looked through the window to mock Akhila again. Akhila ignored this and smiled wickedly as though expecting that.

There was some sporadic traffic it was increasing, and the most immediate vehicle ahead was a long lazy truck approximately 500 meters ahead. ‘Perfectly placed’ Akhila thought. Just as the blue car was about to overtake theirs from left side, Akhila pressed the gas and white car gained momentum in a matter of moments. Blue car tried had to overtake but had to slow down due to the truck directly ahead of it in left lane.

The blue car driver cursed again, audile to the people in blue car in form of a screech, this time due to brake.  A big laughter broke out in the white car.

For the next 20 – 25 minutes this happened – sometimes blue car did over take them, but it was short lived as Akhila over took him easily in the traffic. She definitely was more strategic and using the speed of their car and speed of other vehicles beautifully, and the earlier irritation gradually eased off, replaced by a satisfaction. Finally mind is at peace and the blue car did not bother her anymore.

Soon after, the blue car over took them with lot of frustration and anger, but Akhila brushed aside those gestures and words very casually.

She finally declared, “need a tea break badly, but only if Vinod promises not to lock eyes with the chai woman”!!

Vinod who was observing all the changes in the car very keenly smiled intensely and deeply with in himself.

Thursday, 27 December 2012

Loud Silence


WAY V LIVE

Loud Silence

‘Is any sound more melodious than silence?’ So harmonious, with its own unique raaga, plunging deep in to soul and spreading calmness across heart and mind; a melody complete in itself – Vinod closed his eyes to see what’s inside him.  

‘Is there anything more dreadful than silence?’ Akhila was just unable to concentrate on road in this quietness. She is looking for reasons, words, to answer all the thoughts stirred up a while ago and this silence is just - so much scary.

‘On a journey with friends on a much needed vacation, why is everyone so silent? This idiot Vinod thinks he is extremely good with logic and words. Why can’t he just shut his mouth sometimes? Not everyone can understand him and why can’t he realize it?’ Suresh started getting impatient, ‘all his self-acclaimed clever words ended up in this silence – this is so worthlessly empty!!”

Suresh moved impatiently in his seat, unable to bear the silence anymore – reached for the remote and switched audio to FM. Random discussions, songs, noises started coming out, each one of them not lasting even for few seconds and started to disrupt the wavelengths of silence. Occasionally few sounds lasted a bit longer than few seconds and Suresh tried listening to them keenly, but heard nothing interesting and the scrolling continued. He finally gave up his quest for some old Hindi songs. “Ye kahan aa gaye hum ..” Kishore ji and Lata ji replaced Eagles extremely melodiously.

“I like this song” Gowri got up quiet swiftly, adjusted herself in the seat, and told “Suresh increase the volume a bit please.” Suresh felt good, as he felt at least someone is in cheerful mood today and increased the volume. ‘Some sounds are just never too loud’ Gowri felt – she loved old Bollywood songs.

The songs almost came to end, Gowri asked, “How far have we come?” Akhila responded in a lost tone, “we just completed half journey I guess, and it’s already 8 am” Gowri picked up the lostness, “That’s ok, don’t strain too much” tried to reassure Akhila, “at least we are enjoying the journey”

Suresh and Akhila looked at each other blankly. Both did not know whether to laugh or cry – they did not have anything to say back.  Suresh felt to slap Vinod badly. Gowri got curious and looked at Vinod who was looking out of window totally lost in his world. “Vinod is everything fine?”  Gowri put her hand on Vinod and pushed slightly. Vinod turned around as though rattled from his silence, “Yeah, why?” Gowri questioned back, “Why is everyone so silent?”

Vinod got back in to the car with some guilt of being selfish. He did not want to say anything to Gowri on his nirvana thoughts and disturb people more, but diverted the topic “Yeah, even I noticed that too, why is everyone silent? Suresh is everything fine?” This time Suresh wanted to kill Vinod, but before he could do that, he noticed car slowing down and looked forward. Everyone in the car looked forward and there were long queues of variety of vehicles in 4 -5 lines.

“What the heck is this now?” Suresh yelled putting the all frustration and the intense idea to slap Vinod in his tone. He continued, “Akhila!! Quick!! Put the car behind this Toyota, the queue is small here.” Akhila reacted swiftly, took a deep cut to the right denying change to another blue car who also wanted the same place, and went behind the Toyota. She felt good being in shorter queue and even good because she fought her way there successfully, and said smoothly, “I guess we have to pay toll.”

Vinod felt irritated, but Suresh voiced it out, “Toll? Why the hell are we paying road tax then?” Vinod noticed a private company’s name on a sign board and said “Guess this company has made this road and now has the contract to maintain these roads for next few years”

Gowri joined, “they take money to make roads, they take money to maintain roads, they take money to upgrade roads; they take money to drive on roads … where does all this money go?” The remaining three gave out a deep sigh as there was only one answer – black money of rich politicians.

The more you talk about the topic the more you get frustrated – the system we live in, the government we vote for, the reforms that are only spoken about; more frustrating – every talks about it, no one does anything about it. And then the million dollar question comes up – if you want to change why can’t you be the change and do something about it? Get on to the streets, fight for it, and then for how long? Even the corrupt people in government know this part; They knows that people cannot fight on roads forever – give any fight a week for maximum – after that it dilutes, as all the people have to get back to their normal lives. And we, the people, get back to our lives trying to adjust and accommodate with what we get. There can be countless discussions on this in cars, cafes, office canteens, parking lots – but everything has to get back to ‘normal’ life. We know what’s happening is wrong; we know our hard earned money is exploited; we have the courage and intent to fight; what is stopping us then? Or rather what is lacking in us to fight?

All four in the car felt the frustration, as they had countless discussions on topic, and all of them ended in dissatisfaction. A brutal suffocating silence reigned over car. Vinod felt surprised how this silence was very different from his earlier one – the earlier one was complete in itself and in this one he felt there is something lacking. Suresh was silent calculating how much money we are being looted off each year and Gowri was silent thinking how better the citizens fight – perhaps with a coordinated effort across the nation with each city every week keeping the intensity of fight going.

For Akhila, it was even more frustrating as their queue was the slowest moving. The blue car came in to the line left of them and Akhila watched it move ahead of them helplessly. To add salt to her irony, the driver of the blue car looked out of his window and gave a wicked wink to Akhila. Her fists automatically tightened around the wheel, told to herself silently, ‘I will see you on the other side of the toll, you son-of-a-b**ch.’

After over 13 -15 slow and dragging minutes, Akhila paid 75 rupees toll and came out on other side. The blue car was nowhere to be seen. She changed the gears and pressed the gas hard, with a small jerk and leap the car shot forward like a bullet. The jerk shattered everyone out of their thoughts and leap pushed them back in their seats. All three looked at Akhila, who looked totally focused as a soldier set for war.

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

99% Struggle --> 1% Happy (?)


WAY V LIVE

“99% Struggle à 1% Happy (?)”

A soldier is posted at a forward area. He carries his favorite machine gun and marches towards the border enthusiastically. His job is to protect the borders and so he does so with a lot of passion. He follows orders to the word in the best interest of him and his battalion. In his term of posting, he develops strong bonding with fellow soldiers; some become very close to him. In all the good time he thinks about upcoming battles. He prepares and plans. He thinks what to do to win and live another day, and promises himself to save country and fellow battalion at whatever cost. The day of his first fight comes and a lot of blood is spilled – blood from his battalion too. He wins the battle and endures pain. His heart shrinks, thinks, contemplates, but continues to guard the borders. A lot of time passes by and blood, bullets, and blizzards become his day to day activity. He takes them all with known familiarity and wisdom for he knows every battle has collateral damage and ‘we lose some, we gain some’. He realizes that some battles you win, and in some, retreat is wise. A big war arrives and he feels this is what is he was or has been prepared for all his life. Enemy comes up with an undefeatable strategy and surrounds the battalion from all directions and traps them. The war grows intense and enemy advances. Despite certain defeat and chilling fear, the soldier does not give up. He continues fighting as that is the only thing he knows. He loses is friends one by one; every happiness and laughter he once had with them can never be brought back – he continues to fight. He and his closest companion remain; he pledges he still has a reason to stay strong – he continues to fight. He loses ground every day; he stays close to his faiths and beliefs – he continues to fight. His hopes of winning fade every day; his heart starts losing emotions – he continues to fight. Eventually his companion falls on ground; he heart fills with emptiness – He continues to fight. He remains alone with his favorite gun; ‘till the last breath’ he reminds himself – he continues to fight; His favorite gun fires its last bullet and ‘his war’ is over – he realizes death is certain. He knows any time now his heart can be pierced by a bullet. All of a sudden a smile shows up on his face; a smile complete; a smile which has nothing to lose.

“It’s rather strange – any happiness you experience may not be complete within itself – it might just be an elevated mood; but when you don’t feel unhappy anymore – perhaps, that’s when permanent state of happiness sprouts.”

Vinod let out a deep ‘hmm’ and looked around in to reality. It did not change much, except that he is not driving. Eagles were still singing, white Honda city was cruising at 120 kmph, Suresh and Gowri were still dipping their heads often and Akhila was at the wheel, humming along with Eagles and zooming past every single vehicle in sight. It seemed to him for a moment, that he was the only one who was still in the hangover of ‘nivarna’ tea.

The fog was melting giving way sun rays. Everything outside the window seemed to be gradually embracing golden yellow hue, with bright diamonds scattered whenever a fast sun ray pierced through a dew drop. ‘How beautiful?’ Vinod was filled with freshness with that splendid sight. “How are we doing Akhila?” He asked. “Welcome back to Earth, Sir!!” Akhila giggled, “We covered half way.” “Not bad” Vinod appreciated, “you are fast.” Akhila graciously accepted the compliment. She has some good feeling and respect mixed in equal quantities for Vinod. Once reason being, Vinod never had any male ego stop him when complimenting a girl or accepting them better than him. It’s rare she thought.

“All fine Vinod? You seem lost. Are you still thinking about the old couple?” Akhila asked. Vinod smiled and shook his head as ‘yes’; he looked out of the window and did not know what else to say. Even if he wanted to say, he did not know how to. He was really unsure how many would look at life as he does. But now, Vinod decided to give it a shot “well, yes ...” He thought for a moment, but could not go any forward. Akhila, knowing Vinod, tried to understand remaining unsaid words, “mm … are you upset for them?” “No, no, nothing so!!” Vinod said instantaneously. Vinod did not know what he was felt for old couple. It was something like pity, but not pity. The more he thought what he felt about them, he felt like being sucked in to a vaccume. Akhila watched Vinod from rear view mirror, his eyes were saying something, but clearly, he was struggling for words.

“I was sorry to see an old couple in such misery, struggling each day, but honestly, if you would not have started that conversation, I would not have not even bothered” Akhila took the lead in conversation. She wants Vinod to get whatever he had been thinking out of his head. Vinod seemed to get a lead, “Why would you have not noticed them Akhila?” Akhila gave a short smile and nod, happy that her lead was working and more over this question was expected. “Simple Vinod, its 6 am in morning, dead cold, I had 3 tired passengers who badly needed this 3-day break, and for them to get maximum time on their vacation, I would have got down, had tea, and get back on my way – all in 5 minutes. In all this, how can I look in to the old woman’s eyes and try to figure out what she is thinking?” She said very casually.

Vinod went blank for moment, and then a quick tiny smile came up which did not make it out on to his face, ‘not many can align with me’ he thought. He got Akhila’s point, but dint want to talk back anything as it might sound like an argument. No point, we live in different worlds, he concluded. “Sorry, dint mean to put you down” Akhila said apologetically mistaking Vinod’s silence that he is hurt, “I was only trying to say why I could not have noticed, you see, these priorities in our lives .. .. ” “No worries” Vinod said back assuring. After a silent moment he said again, “but I see your point” he added with a wink. “What to do you mean? What’s my point?” Akhila asked curiously. Vinod coolly said “Point being, we are so programmed for timelines, we miss out on life.”

“What do you mean life, Vinod?” Akhila turned assertive from casual, “For me it means being happy, me and close ones being happy. But, we live in a brutal society and system, there is no place for weak – so we have to work. Work really hard. But I enjoy that, as that work gives me enough resources to keep me and my family happy and secure. So, this is life for me – even if I don’t put timelines – the world we live it put them for me; I can stop by to hear somebody’s life – but that will not give me more minutes in my life; I may sound selfish, but am practical” she ended with a heavy breath.

Vinod smiled softly, “Agreed. I totally agree with each and every word you say” after a brief pause he asked, “You mentioned about you and your family being happy, what do you mean by happiness?” Akhila gave it a thought, and let out a list “parties, movies, shopping, spa’s, travel, holiday’s … and the biggest happiness is when I achieve something, for example when I passed out of CA.” Vinod did not respond immediately, as though he wanted to hear more. Akhila also thought for a while, she listed them nonetheless, but felt something was missing on that list. After a couple of minutes, Vinod asked “are you sure they give you happiness or do they just give an elevated mood for that moment? I mean how long does your ‘happy moment’ last? You go to a party, you feel good/happy but how long can you retain that mood? There will be some events which like passing out of CA or other similar which help this elevated mood retain for long time, but it has to end sometime.”

“You are being extremely critical Vinod, we need these small happiness’s in life to go on, as otherwise it’s just work” Akhila said, still feeling that something was missing in her list. “I agree with you to totally again. My point is just that we struggle hard for 99% of our lives to get these temporary moments of happiness in life. We justify this 99% struggle with a satisfaction that we are working to be happy. But unfortunately these happy moments are not one time affair and not permanent. As I said, you party, you feel good and it lasts for a week and after that you have to party again. Similarly shopping,” Vinod stopped the flow as though thinking over what he said and concluded, “So technically we are burning ourselves - day in and day out – for these temporary moments of elevated moods. This is what I had been thinking.”

Akhila did not seem convinced with what Vinod said, but could not immediately reply anything too. She visibly seemed struggling to get an answer as she strongly felt that there has been definitely more to her life than just these temporary elevated moods.

The traffic increased on the highway, and so did the thoughts in Akhila’s mind, but the White Honda city continued to cruise silently and swiftly towards its destination.